Bengaluru — In an unprecedented act of non-creation, 18,107 teacher positions have suddenly vanished in government schools, creating a black hole in the education department that has left the nation bamboozled.
Now You See Them, Now You Don’t!
In a move that would put a magician to shame, the Indian education department has managed to make 18,107 teacher positions disappear with just one swift administrative decision! The incident, now being referred to as “The Great Indian Teacher Evaporation”, is said to be the largest evaporation of public sector positions in domestic history, leaving Chinna Swamy, the local chaiwallah, chanting, “Abra-ka-dabra, where did the teachers disappear?”
Enrolment Invites Teachers… Or Does it?
As the now-empty classrooms echo in silence, students are left wondering if they will get a ‘participation certificate’ for attending an institution without a single sign of pedagogic life. The government, lampooning itself, announced an open hiring call for the vacant positions, resulting in an impromptu re-enactment of the Mad Hatter’s tea party as prospective teachers scrambled to apply.
A Local Uncle Commiserates with Confused Pigeons
In an exclusive interview with CrazyJournalist.com, Uncle Ramprasad, a ‘self-styled educational seer’ from the neighbourhood, said, “I tell you, beta, these days I see more confused pigeons in the park than rational decisions in this department. At least the pigeons know they are confused. Here, they are creating open spaces, not for parks, but for teachers. Who will teach our children?” His somber face indicating the gravity of the situation.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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