Hyderabad — In an unprecedented turn of events, the much-awaited ‘Akhanda 2’ has finally been announced for its OTT release, causing a national uproar and massive sales of earplugs. Fans of star Nandamuri Balakrishna are reportedly preparing for the spiritual experience of his fantasy action film from the comfort of their own high-decibel-proof homes.
Nandamuri Balakrishna Declared National Treasure by BLE (Balayya Loyal Experimenters)
The OTT release date announcement has coincided with the declaration by a hitherto unknown group — the Balayya Loyal Experimenters — that Nandamuri Balakrishna is henceforth a national treasure, expected to be protected at all costs. According to their spokesperson, Guru Prasad Akhandananda, “The serene chanting of Balayya Babu amidst explosions in the film is known to raise both heart rates and dead pets.” The group plans to organize public viewings in open spaces, complete with yoga mats and Ayurvedic tea.
As the number of OTT releases rises, Akhanda 2 distinguishes itself by being officially used in many households as a substitute for tranquil nature sounds — the kind that used to feature trickling streams and chirping birds. In a bizarre twist, however, the sound of smashing cars and roaring battle cries have become the ultimate in deep relaxation. “It’s revolutionary,” said one deliriously enthusiastic fan sneaking fondly branded CDs into a local meditation center.
Government Proposes ‘Akhanda 2’ as Cure for Insomnia
The government’s Ministry of Sticks and Stones has decided to weigh in on the phenomenon by proposing that ‘Akhanda 2’ become an official treatment for insomnia. Minister Bhargav Clapper-Peel remarked, “Wherever I saw people watching the trailers, there was either intense cheering or gentle snoring. It’s a win-win.” Hospitals are already considering adding Akhanda balms and conscious chaos music therapy to their patient treatment regimens.
Local Uncle Ponders Tax Benefits for National Nap Sessions
Mr. Suresh Kumar, a local uncle known for his vast knowledge of tax loopholes and movies, shared his thoughts on the OTT phenomenon. “If one can productively rest using Akhanda 2, then long naps should be tax-deductible!” he proclaimed, briefly pausing to pen what he deemed a righteously inspired petition. “This film, sir, is the future of stress management and tax saving. Mark my words!” Family members speculate whether Mr. Kumar took a break from chasing phantoms of GST credits to pen what he declares will save the national economy.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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