As Delhi inches closer to municipal elections, one thing is clear: manifestos are getting masala-loaded. Not with policy, mind you. We’re talking about samosas, golgappas and of course, the reigning monarch of morning meals – chole bhature.
Yes, this year’s biggest election promise comes not from AAP or BJP, but from the small-but-shockingly-influential “All-Punjabi Breakfast Lovers Party” (APBLP). Their campaign slogan? “One Bhatura, One Vote.” Their manifesto includes subsidised chickpeas, fewer oil restrictions on street vendors, and a monthly bhatura scheme for senior citizens. Guess who’s voting with oil-stained fingers?
But it’s not just a greasy grab for power. Chole bhature has long served as Delhi’s unofficial fuel – especially for people brave enough to fight the Metro at 8:30 AM. An average Delhiite may forget election dates, but never the taste of their favourite bhaturey wala from Karol Bagh. So it makes perfect sense that politicians would reinterpret bread-and-butter issues as literal deep-fried-bread issues.
Meanwhile, RWA uncles across South Delhi are furious. “Every morning, there’s a line longer than the budget session outside Sharmaji,” fumed Mr. Gulati of Panchsheel Enclave, who suspects Sharmaji is secretly funding a political campaign under “Gravy Development Fund.” Even the Election Commission is confused. How do you measure political influence in spoonfuls of pickle?
Meanwhile, voters are weighing serious issues, like: who crushed the chole better – Sharmaji in Pitampura or Monika Aunty from Yusuf Sarai? Polls are showing a swing towards “extra aloo” constituencies. Meanwhile, Twitter is ablaze with debates between Team Raw Onion and Team Green Chutney. Congress, trying to be relevant, floated “Rajma Roti” as an alternative. It ended as quickly as it began.
The real winners, of course, are us—the people who woke up just wanting breakfast and are now feeling oddly hopeful about civic sanitation because someone mentioned “free tissue packets with every vote.”
So maybe, just maybe, the path to better governance lies not in shouting in Parliament, but in sharing our breakfast tables. Next time you see two strangers arguing about GST rates, just offer bhature. National unity might simply need more imli chutney.
#CholeForChange
#BhaturaBallot
#DelhiEatsDemocracy
#BreakfastPolitics
#VoteFryday
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