Delhi — As North India braces for yet another episode of pea-soup-thick fog, residents of Delhi, UP, and Punjab are bracing themselves with the invention of a novel form of pedestrian choreography dubbed the “Fog Salsa.” With weather reports predicting visibility akin to a bat’s perspective in a coal mine, locals have decided to tap their feet to safety through an innovative dance form.
“Fog Ballet Classes Replace Morning Yoga Sessions”
In a spectacular twist, parks usually teeming with yoga enthusiasts and brisk walkers now serve as makeshift dance studios. Led by local dance maestros who once pushed for ‘Zumba for Unity’, these impromptu sessions help citizens navigate the invisible sidewalks and dodge invisible obstacles with grace and style. “It’s like learning to dance with an invisible partner,” explained Chintu Sharma, a longtime enthusiast of foggy day escapades, “The key is to trust your rhythm and hope that the pole you think you’re seeing is actually a pole.” Left unable to differentiate between street vendors and cars, people have formed line dances, occasionally whirling around light posts and parked autos.
“Eye Doctors Declare 2023 the ‘Year of the Spectacle'”
In an unprecedented turn of events, local eye clinics reported a 180% increase in appointments. Recent findings suggest excessive squinting as locals attempt to read traffic signals through the mist, which in some situations exacerbates the need for corrective lenses. The government prompts citizens to “wait until noon before opening their eyes,” suggesting that fines could be waived for anyone caught squinting while driving before then.
“Local Uncle in Pajamas Describes Fog Chaos”
“Last night, I was on my way back from the chai stall when I commenced an unintended fog sambar step and inadvertently tangoed into a neighbor’s balcony,” confessed Mr. Mishra, a local resident, as nearby pigeons nodded in agreement. He added, “This morning, my wife thought she saw a cow walking alongside us on the sidewalk, only to realize she was just following my foggy outline!” Mr. Mishra has vowed to never leave home without his neon pajamas as a beacon.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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