New Delhi — The nation is captivated by the perplexing enigma of “amavasya kab hai”, sparking interest and confusion greater than when “Gangnam Style” first hit YouTube. Astrologers, aunties, and random WhatsApp groups are abuzz, with the lunar query trending higher than a celebrity wedding in Goa.
Breaking News: Google Maps Now Offers Amavasya Tracker
The demand for Amavasya timing has grown so intense that a tech-savvy priest in Bengaluru reportedly collided headfirst with innovation, developing an app called “Moonha Dekho”. Offering real-time updates, the app promises to pinpoint the precise moment darkness cloaks the lunar disc. However, sources say the app also dispenses “profound” moonlit quotes like, “Moon is just a rock, internet is forever,” making users question reality.
Chaos Unleashed: Nationwide Candle Panic as Shops Run Out
Amid the frenzy, candle sales have skyrocketed, leaving devotees and ambiance enthusiasts waging battles over dwindling supplies. The Government of India issued a special advisory urging citizens to refrain from lighting more than one candle per room unless narrating ghost stories to impress friends. An unverified Tokyo-based pundit claims this Amavasya might also increase one’s ‘astrological credit score’, causing widespread debates at local chai stalls and leaving banks baffled.
“Moonologistics” by Local Uncles: A Must-Read or Just Moonshine?
In an impromptu gathering under a flickering streetlight, Vinod Kumar, self-proclaimed “expert” and local uncle, was spotted distributing photocopied pamphlets titled “Moonologistics: A Deep Dive”. He proclaimed, “This Amavasya, I’m planning an overnight vigil with my pug, Lucky, for spiritual insights and maybe some head pats. I strongly believe it’s the ideal night to ponder life’s mysteries or simply why the neighbor’s WiFi is faster.” His speech was met with nods and echoes of “Wah, kya baat hai!” from onlookers, further deepening the lunar mythos.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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