In what can only be described as a cruel joke played by the universe—or possibly just inflation—the humble onion has transcended its everyday pantry status to become a luxury commodity in Delhi. With prices reaching Rs 100 per kilo and climbing faster than a Delhi metro up an escalator, the city’s pani puri vendors are now demanding biometric verification before adding extra onions. Two-factor authentication may soon be mandatory.
Once the Robin Hood of garnishes, always available and generously thrown atop every street snack, the onion now sits in a velvet box in Chaat Zone v.2024. Where once a golgappa-wala grinned and said, “aur thoda pyaaz?” they now avoid eye contact and whisper, “Sir, it’ll cost extra.”
Delhiites are rallying. Local WhatsApp aunties have declared an ‘onionmaro’ movement. “We will dice less, cry less, and adapt,” said Mrs. Bhutani from Rajouri Garden after converting her rooftop garden into an onion reserve. Tinder matches now state ‘Owns 5kg of onion’ under significant achievements. The black market is allegedly thriving, with rumors of secret pyaaz speakeasies operating behind curtain supply doors of Lajpat Nagar.
Restaurants are adapting too. One South Delhi cafe has proudly introduced the ‘Onionless Experience Platter’—featuring caramelized hope, chopped humility, and a chutney made of whimpering chefs. Meanwhile, YouTube home chefs solemnly declare, “This recipe tastes exactly the same… if you ignore your taste buds.”
But we have to ask—have we as a society underrated the power of this bulbous beauty? The onion was always more than just garnish. It united plates. It crossed biryani bowls. It caused tears, yes, but involuntarily. Now, we weep because it’s unaffordable.
Yet in the spirit of true Dilli jugaad, hope emerges. One innovative entrepreneur has begun a barter system: “Three gulab jamuns for one diced onion.” It’s heartwarming. And acid reflux-inducing.
Let this be a reminder that we must appreciate life’s essentials… before they require bank loans. So next time you spot a roadside snack with real, visible onions—tip your cap. Or your wallet.
Until then, savor every crunchy slice like it’s truffle.
#OnionCrisis #DelhiSnacksDrama #InflationBites #GolgappaGrief #PyaazPeKharcha
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