New Delhi — In a turn of events that only India could deliver, the announcement of 22,000 Railway Group D vacancies has sparked spontaneous yoga sessions on railway tracks across the country. On a typical Tuesday morning, entire families were seen practicing their best “locomotive” poses on the tracks, in anticipation of securing jobs by osmosis.
Train of Thought: Job Applications Meet Mountain Pose
The infamous Group D railway jobs have always been a hot commodity, but this year, they’ve achieved a new level of mystique. As news of the whopping vacancies spread faster than a bullet train (a theoretical concept), hopefuls — with zero railway experience — decided to embrace the tracks itself. “Practicing the ‘Garudasana’ while waiting for my application to be accepted feels like the right choice,” said Vikas Sharma, a professional waiting-in-line expert from Ghaziabad.
Meanwhile, railway authorities have introduced an unofficial policy titled “Yoga or Yatra,” suggesting that those who perform impressive yoga feats on the tracks may inadvertently manifest their way into a government job. The Railways Ministry reportedly plans to sponsor the “Great Indian Train-asana Championship” to sort prospective employees. Winners will receive “tentative employment opportunities,” which, in railway terms, might happen somewhere between 2025 and never.
Bridge the Railrovial: Widespread Track Idleness Observed
Parallel to the yoga mania, local chai vendors, notorious for their razor-sharp business instincts, have declared railway stations as the new wellness retreats. “For the cost of one chai, you can align your chakras with the metro schedules,” claimed Manoj “Mystic” Singh, who now offers ‘chakral balance’ with every snack purchase. Railways have seen an unusual uptick in attendance in employees… only if you count pigeons staring menacingly from overhead wires.
Pigeon Expertise on Track-Centric Job Strategies
“Look, the tracks always got us somewhere, why stop now?” said Bhupinder, an agitated pigeon who claims to have flown over 500 stations in his lifetime. “There’s an undeniable beauty in overlapping my wings and watching humans mimic what we’ve done at train stations for centuries, just without the berries.” On being asked how high hopes are for the job scene, he simply replied, “As high as the next train schedule confusion.”
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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