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A sweet scandal involving sweets, screens, and Rajya Sabha signals
Mini blog post:
In an unexpected twist that would leave even the most experienced political satirists scratching their heads in admiration, Parliament WiFi reportedly collapsed last week due to what officials are now calling the “Kaju Katli Upload Incident.” It appears a well-meaning MP tried to live-stream his Diwali sweet parcel—a suspiciously shiny Kaju Katli tray—to his constituents, only for the 4.7 GB video (shot in cinematic 4K, mind you) to clog up the Rajya Sabha’s shaky WiFi like ghee in a cold refrigerator.
While Parliament usually debates things like foreign policy and inflation, members were momentarily unified by the universal horror of buffering icons mid YouTube motivational speech. Opposition leaders, noting the national tragedy, demanded an emergency upgrade to “Fiber Bhai” broadband. Meanwhile, the MP in question reportedly asked his assistant, “But what is cloud if not very big USB?”
This comes just days after a spirited debate in Lok Sabha over digital literacy, during which one minister revealed he thought “URL” stood for “U R Late” in millennial lingo. The ruling party wasn’t entirely spared either; one confidential source claims a senior parliamentarian couldn’t access a presentation because he thought clicking on a “cookie banner” would deliver actual cookies.
But all hope is not lost. In true Indian spirit, a joint parliamentary committee has been formed to investigate the “sweet incident.” They promise to file a 400-page report to suggest improvements—which, based on prior evidence, will mostly contain graphs, clipart, and one essay about the inventor of biscuits.
We humbly suggest Parliament switch to carrier pigeons—faster, more reliable, and frankly, charmingly vintage. If not birds, perhaps they consider letting India’s real WiFi experts—teenagers playing CoD at 2AM—handle their network.
The good news is, amid the chaos, food once again brought people together. Several MPs agreed across party lines that the mithai was excellent, sparking hopes that maybe, just maybe, comprehensive broadband reform can be sweetened with a little silver foil and pistachios.
India may lag digitally at times, but when it comes to turning disasters into dessert-fueled unity? We’re light-speed ahead.
#KajuKatliKrash
#ParliamentWiFiDown
#SweetScandal
#BufferingInRajyaSabha
#IndiaConnectsThroughMithai
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