Kolkata — It’s a monumental day in Kolkata as the unveiling of a towering 125-foot statue of Shyamaprasad Mukherjee takes on a tech-savvy twist. The statue has been rigged to serve a dual purpose: a beacon of homage and a new-age cell tower.
Penchant for Multitasking Extends to Statues
In a bold move by Shiv Gadgetry Services (SGS), the statue has been equipped with an array of cellular antennas, subtly tucked into Mukherjee’s finely sculpted hair. This will meet the city’s ever-growing demand for better mobile network coverage. SGS assures that the unusual placement of the antennas will “absolutely not” distort the aesthetic appeal of the statue. After all, who doesn’t appreciate historical figures advocating for strong WiFi signals?
The declaration from SGS prompted frenzied purchases of new phones and data plans, as the city now expects top-tier connectivity from “Shyama Tower”. Scientists predict an increase in ‘Instagramming’ from the site, as the promise of strong connection attracts the tech savvy masses.
Outdoor Assembly Gains New Meaning
Apart from instigating a tech boom, the ingenious act has resulted in an unforeseen change. The earlier tranquil site for peaceful contemplation has turned into a hotspot for tech enthusiasts, mobile app influencers and even for romantic proposals under the comforting glow of the 5G antennas. The government is considering promotion of the site as a ‘digital lover’s park’, with location-based augmented reality games being played in the shadow of the towering monument.
“Connectivity is the Best Form of Flattery,” Claims Local Scholar
Retired professor and pseudo-historian, Chandan Banerjee stated enthusiastically, “Mukherjee was all about unifying the nation, and there’s nothing more unifying than a good network connection! What’s better than remembering him as a beacon of connectivity, literally?” His neighbour, Dolly Tewari, however, is less enthused. “I’ve heard of ‘being on cloud nine’, but this is ridiculous,” she grumbled, pointing her phone skyward to get a better signal.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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