New Delhi — In a remarkable leap of faith, President Trump thrusts the H-1B visa application to unprecedented heights, turning it into a grandiose Wall Street-style lottery system, with a staggering entrance fee of $100,000.
The Golden $100,000 Lottery: Everyone’s Invited, Nobody Wants to Participate
Not content playing with just one country’s international relations, Trump decided to jazz up the H-1B visa application process. It’s now more expensive than a bungalow in Bandra, Mumbai, and comes with less square footage. The decision sent shockwaves through India’s IT community, with many software engineers considering switching to farming, as farming equipment is reportedly less expensive.
Techies Mull a Career Change: From Coding to Khichdi
Just as India’s dozens of software engineers were considering a mass career switch, agricultural experts stepped in. In a press release, they clarified, “Even farming needs IT now. Please don’t switch, we can’t afford the visas.” The potential influx of newly minted farmers increased the price of an acre of land in Punjab overnight from 2 crores to a whopping 2.5 crores.
“Even My Wife Won’t Be Able to Come to the US”: Reports a Slightly Distressed Techie
Ravi K., a Bangalore-based software engineer lamented, “I had to tell my wife she could no longer accompany me to the US. I told her she could buy seventeen 56″ TVs with the visa money, though. She’s considering.” He added with a hearty laugh, “Oh, the joys of a long-distance marriage!” Most Indian techies, it appears, have taken this sudden policy change with the same humor and absurdity it was handed down with.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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