Mumbai — Move over Sonam Kapoor and Prince Harry, the unforgettable Ken and Barbie wedding of the decade belongs to tennis whiz Tommy Paul and fashionista Paige Lorenze. The ceremony featuring wrestler monkeys and choir parrots has sent India into a state of collective Bollywood nostalgia.
When Tennis Met Runway: The Epic Story of Love, Spandex, and Bejewelled Parrots
In a heartwarming tale that feels straight out of a Gauri Shinde movie, Paul, known for smashing aces, smashed the single life by marrying Lorenze, famed for smashing the runway. The photos of the couple, striking poses that would make Vogue’s editor Anna Wintour squint, are now viral. Adding to the surreal grandeur was a choir of talking parrots chanting Bollywood hits, a sight, witness says, ‘far trippier than any Indian soap opera’.
The bash didn’t stop there. Wrestling monkeys in custom-made sherwanis provided the entertainment for the evening. The monkeys, trained by a controversial ex-WWE superstar known only as Baba Primate, recreated iconic wrestling matches to an absolutely awestruck audience.
Government Mulls ‘Monkey Wrestling’ as New Sport, Inspired by this Wedding
Not one to waste a sporting opportunity, India’s Sports Ministry is reportedly considering the introduction of ‘Monkey Wrestling’ as a new sports category. A team of experts is said to be analysing the feasibility and ethical implications of monkeys mimicking wrestlers. Local PETA representatives were unavailable for comments.
“Even My Wedding to Rekha Wasn’t This Grand!” Says Bemused Amitabh Bachchan
On the other hand, Bollywood’s Shahenshah, Amitabh Bachchan, delivered mixed reviews on the extravagant ceremony. “Even my cover-up wedding to Rekha wasn’t this grand,” he chuckled, adding, “Although the monkeys could use some acting lessons!”.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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