Hyderabad — Astrology takes a golden turn in Hyderabad as locals following the Mesham (Aries) and Simham (Leo) zodiacs reportedly strike gold after merely touching the soil, thanks to the Gaja Kesari Yogam in May. The city has turned into a veritable gold rush, the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Klondike.
Gold Rush: Hyderabadi Style
In a bizarre turn of events, Hyderabadis, led by the Mesham and Simham zodiac followers, are furiously digging up the city parks, gardens and even the road sides. The gold fever, triggered by the prediction of a local astrologer stating the Gaja Kesari Yogam will turn soil into gold for these lucky zodiac natives has led to an unprecedented frenzy. This has, no doubt, raised concerns about the city’s ‘now one, now another’ pot-holed roads. Despite numerous complaints, city officials seem unable to stop the onslaught of hopefuls seeking their fortunes in the dirt beneath their feet.
Panic at the Jewellery Market
In contrast to the euphoria in the parks, the city’s gold market is in an utter state of panic. Goldsmith shops stand empty as locals have abandoned the reliance on the traditional route of acquiring gold, instead, all they have to do now is touch soil. In a desperate move, the Hyderabad Goldsmith Guild has requested the astrologer, who made the initial prediction, to revise his statement. As he is now living it up in a newly purchased island, he has yet to respond.
Mud Therapy – The New Gold Standard
“I’ve started a soil facial, body wrap, and massage service”, stated Veeru Mischiefwala, a local salon owner. “The service has been selling like ‘Hot Kaju Katlis’ with Mesham and Simham followers. Not only are they laying their hands on gold but also getting some much-needed beauty therapy”. Mischiefwala has even hinted at mass marketing his soil beauty treatments to wider audiences, thus setting the stage for a potential ‘Seismic Soil Beauty Revolution’.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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