"Moon Bound! NASA's Flag-Bearer Artemis II Promises to Deliver Superpowers to Indian Astronauts"

New Delhi — Amid much anticipation surrounding the NASA Artemis II moon mission, sources indicate an unbelievable – and completely reputable – promise from the space agency – Indian astronauts to return with superpowers!

Moon Dusting for Mighty Powers

As the countdown begins for Artemis II, the mission aims to not only perform a lunar flyby but also sprinkle our Indian astronauts with the most precious commodity in the universe – moon dust! Sources close to the mission have revealed that this exceptional celestial powder, scientifically proven by a secretive team of maverick NASA scientists, can bestow superpowers on contact. What’s better? NASA has signed a MOU, ensuring that each Indian astronaut will be adequately “moon dusted”.

Terms of the MOU suggest our intrepid voyagers could return with abilities ranging from levitating samosas – a potential game-changer for Indian street food vendors, to a definitive cure for the age-old Indian malady, the ‘Arranged Marriage Syndrome’. Who wouldn’t want superpowers to avoid those awkwardly set up dates?

Lander or Action Movie Set?

As excitement soars across the nation, Bollywood directors have jumped on the moonwagon. Renowned filmmaker Rohit Shetty has reportedly secured the rights for a spin-off action blockbuster to be shot on Artemis II’s lunar lander. There are rumors of a possible cameo by NASA’s rovers, donning aviators and sliding down spaceship ramps in true Bollywood style.

A Confessional from a Bystander

A local chai-seller and self-proclaimed Moon Enthusiast, Ramu Kaka, exults, “This is groundbreaking! I’m thrilled for the astronauts, but moreover, the possibility of selling my floating samosas on Mars excites me. I’ve already roped in a fleet of local pigeons to conduct delivery trials. For them, training in zero gravity conditions just means an upgrade to their diet – slightly less spicy biryani.”

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.

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