Mumbai— Our astrological stars gave a shocking spin to the zodiac wheel of fortune today. The Rashifal for June 3, 2026, forewarns Scorpios against committing a ‘grave error.’ Given the astrological precision, the mistake is nothing short of consuming the sweet, decadent, and utterly tempting gulab jamun.
“Astrological Armageddon: GulabJamungeddon”
A heavenly connection has revealed that if a Scorpio eats a single gulp of gulab jamun on the said date, it could trigger fuzzy antennae on giant alien scorpions leading to an immediate interstellar invasion of Earth. The stars themselves have relayed the news, leaving the country in a bewildering sweet-tooth standoff.
The panic is so palpable, sweet shops are hastily putting up signs stating ‘No entry for Scorpios on 3rd June’, igniting a fury among Indian dessert enthusiasts.
“Government Response: Operation Zero Gulab Jamun”
On hearing the cosmic forecast, the Government of India swiftly announced Operation Zero Gulab Jamun for Scorpios. Laddoo drone surveillance has been activated, and Jalebi Intelligence Agency (JIA) officials are on high red and yellow alert. Names of all Scorpios are being collected and mandatory sweet abstinence notices are being distributed. Sweet vendors have reported a never-seen-before rush, reminiscent of Diwali.
“Local Sweet Vendor: The Great Indian Sweet Escape”
Chanchal Sharma, multiple award-winning sweet vendor from Chandigarh, told us: “Sheer madness, I tell you! People are buying gulab jamuns in kilos. I had to hire three extra uncles to keep up the supply. Not sure about invading aliens, but at this rate, the pandemic of diabetes is sure to hit our country.” Signaling the absurdity of the situation, Chanchal’s parrot, who normally forecasts lottery numbers, was seen predicting sugar levels today.
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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