Mumbai — In a move straight out of a farmer’s dream, Godrej Properties, in collaboration with Zee Business, has proposed a revolutionary scheme where investors can cultivate dividends in their backyard, if they buy property from Godrej.
Harvesting Units: A Gamechanger in Real Estate
Highly placed sources report excitedly that Godrej Properties has innovated its business model to keep up with changing times. For each purchase of property, the buyer will receive a packet of Godrej’s special dividend seeds. These seeds, when planted and nurtured well, will grow into fully mature dividends in a matter of weeks. The innovative step has flabbergasted the entire real estate industry with agents and builders rushing to get their own versions of the ‘dividend plant’.
The Divi-flora Pandemonium
As news about the scheme spread, the nation witnessed an overwhelming rush at all Godrej Outlets. Gardeners have been working overtime, and fertilizer sales are through the roof. “We had to hire thirty more people just to manage the crowd”, confesses a distressed sales manager at a Godrej Property outlet. The government, too, is contemplating the establishment of a separate ‘Divi-flora’ department to monitor and regulate its cultivation.
“Next, Notes will Sprout on Trees!” A Local Uncle Chimes In
With the nation in grips of glamorous dividend farming, there are enough sceptics and critics. Mr. Chintu Lal, a retired railways worker and avid gardener expressed his concerns, “It’s absurd! Next thing you know, they’ll be saying we can sprout 2000 Rupee notes from neem trees. I’ll believe it when I see my roses producing shares of TATA motors.”
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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