Hyderabad — In an unprecedented move that has official heads spinning, the city of Hyderabad has declared a ban on banning. Yes, you read that right – banning is now banned within city limits.
The Circular Logic of the Ban on Banning
The curious resolution was declared in response to an alarming upswing in bans recently – from micro-plastics to poorly parked scooters, all had found themselves facing the axe of prohibition. As local authorities struggled to maintain a list of all things forbidden, it appears they threw their hands up in enlistment and decided to outlaw banning entirely. This philosophical whirlwind of legislative action is noted to be the first of its kind, leaving loophole-hunters simultaneously jittery and joyous.
The Ban-Demic Consequences
Hyderabadis are reported to be in a state of merry confusion and bemusement, to say the least. While vendors of formerly banned items like high-decibel crackers and street-side panipuri have rejoiced, traffic authorities are scratching their heads in despair, at a loss to understand how they can enforce rules without banning errant behaviours. In the meantime, the city’s hygiene inspectors are busy worrying about the triumphant return of plastic bags.
Interview with a Bemused Hyderabadi
When asked for a comment, baffled local resident Chari exclaimed, “Last week, my favourite biryani spot was shut down because it was technically in a no-parking zone and now I’m eating the same biryani, parked in the same spot. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry!” With the numerous bans lifted, he added, “I can finally play my old 90’s dance music at maximum volume. My poor neighbour…”
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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