Kochi — In a shocking revelation that sent deceptive ripples through the tinseltown, film producer Murali Kunnumpurath has exposed the secret to weight loss- Making a movie.
The Latest Diet Fad – The ‘Film Loss’
The famed ‘Sumathi Valavu’ producer has stumbled upon what nutritionists are calling ‘The Kunnumpurath Method.’ Murali’s new technique involves sinking your hard-earned money into an ambitious cinema project, hiring renowned actors Abhilash Pillai and Vishnu and then, waiting. The financial pressure and the box office performance anxiety turn out to be excellent appetite-suppressants. “Why limit yourself to keto or vegan diets when your very own movie can burn your savings faster than any morning jog?” said a bewildered gym enthusiast.
Murali Kunnumpurath – The Unexpected Health Guru
The news has not just shocked the collective conscience of the finance sector and their therapists, but also roped in a new fan base for Kunnumpurath’s ‘fitness formula.’ Aspiring producers and veteran filmmakers are swarming him for dietary tips, surely a first for any producer in the Indian film industry. Fitness trainers and lifestyle coaches are worried about their impending bankruptcy as the ‘Kunnumpurath Diet’ gains popularity.
‘Confessions of a Diet-Busted Filmmaker’
In a candid interview with a random bystander who falsely claimed to be a CrazyJournalist reporter, Murali Kunnumpurath said, “I had never known that making a movie could be this fantastic cardio. The constant sweat on the back office visits to the financiers, the production team’s daily tantrums – it’s a rigorous workout routine. In retrospect, hiring Abhilash and Vishnu was the best weight-loss decision I ever made.”
Disclaimer: This is a work of satire for entertainment purposes.
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